i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
