How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
