We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
How's work?
Spinning.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
