we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
