32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
