I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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