am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
