That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
