have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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