She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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