I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
