no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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