why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
