i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize