is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
