Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
