why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
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They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
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sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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