I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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