You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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