if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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