My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
