i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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