so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
