They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
