um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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