Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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