Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
