if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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