I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
