There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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