he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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