i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
