Umm I'm too high to move.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.