miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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