i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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