I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
