And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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