She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
