her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
