And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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