Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
