Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
