That's when you crack a 10am beer
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
