Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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