this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
