i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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