i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
