yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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