i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize