Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
