and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
