I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
