he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Can I color on your dick again?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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