I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
