he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
