i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
