My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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