oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
the day after is always just damage control
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
