whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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