Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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