i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
