I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
