just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
