I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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