we have officially lost it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
