Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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